Clematis. A flower, a vine, a celebration of spring and summer that on the face of it seems lovely, and pure, and innocent. Little do you know…
Sure, wander around the neighborhood at the right time of the year and it’s front and center, showing its public face with blossoms of various hues.
But each has that center, that collection of tentacles, all waiting for their chance to be free and party.
But secretly, it’s scheming, hiding a darker side.
It’s like a teenager, with thoughts of plant sex, or maybe waiting for the cover of night to light its hidden lamp and explode into full-on Goth mode.
Shocked? Surprised? It gets worse.
After all the public displays of affection and floral fooling around are done, some note that those odd human critters aren’t paying attention anymore. Now it’s time for them to really let their “hair” down.
And what happens when they grow that hair and turn hippy? Drugs, man.
It starts innocently enough. A nice warm buzz, painting the world in the soft fuzzy glow of pastels.
But then they graduate to the hard stuff. The edges get sharper, and they give the impression of getting lit.
For some, that’s enough. But for the truly hardcore, they’re not done getting lit until they’ve put Las Vegas to shame.
(For a much better look at the rise and debauchery of the clematis, click on any picture.)
Talk about an acid trip.
So the next time you wander about and see a prim, pristine clematis spreading its arms and looking innocent, beware…
Clematis – you naughty! Who knew? 🙂 Hahahaha a great post – lovely pictures!
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I bet if I “spied” on other plants in that way who knows what I’d find. 😉 Funny how posts evolve. I had a batch of clematis pics that I’d played around with in edit, how could I tie them together?
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Fun analogy, amazing macros! My fav is the second monochrome “gothic” 😉
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I’m not surprised you liked the monochrome. It was almost an afterthought – what seemed like a good picture just seemed to lack pop. I looked at some presets for ideas and one said, “hey, try this!”, and I tweaked it from there.
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I love it when that happens!
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Wonderful, creative post and photos!
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I ended up having more fun with this than I expected when I decided to do a macro set on clematis. I ended up going different directions with both edit and story. (Initially, I didn’t think there’d even be a story…)
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They are beautiful.
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Must be why I keep taking flower pictures, year after year. Ain’t nature grand?
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I once read a book about the sex life of plants, but I think this beats it. From what I remember, its pictures were pretty tame. Yours are positively scandalous! 😉
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Ah, those academics never have fun (at least in public). Something about “facts”, and “decorum”. Who knows what sort of pin-ups they have back at the lab? 😉
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I am glad you also included the seed head of the clematis. It is just as beautiful as the actual flower. Great photography, Dave!
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Thanks, Peter. I actually had the seed head of a clematis as the feature shot a few posts back without realizing what it was – I just knew it was spectacular. When I saw these a few weeks ago I knew I had to take advantage. (And I had a new flash to play with 😉 )
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Haha! Very weird and funny take on the licentious life of flowers, yes, pretty shocking.
But these are wonderful pictures, great lighting. All the Vegas dancers will be after you to do their portraits.
They also reminded me of those “feather stars” in the ocean, I’ve seen on nature channels.
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🙂 Who knew, right? Amazing what kind of story stumbles out of a photo edit session. I didn’t see it coming either – my muse must have been amused that day.
The seed-head shots are due in part from me finally breaking down and buying a proper flash. I took a couple pics and focus stacked them for the first shot, then used a tool called Topaz to administer the drugs. And if the DEA shows up, I’ll deny it all.
They remind me of feather stars too. (Crinoids, technically). Whatever you call them, they’re pretty cool.
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Gosh, who’d a thought it?
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Those flowers have a lot of secrets. Where do you think they go when they want to extract chemistry for drugs? 😉
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Flowers are going to take over. And that might not be a bad thing…
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Wow! 😳 What an interesting life they have. 😎
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Yep. Just a bunch of party… wait, guess I can’t call them party animals. 😏
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🤣😂
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I had no idea. And those photos are unreal (all caps). Unreal…
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😁 Amazing what you can do with a camera, a tongue in check story, and various editing tools.
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It is! You are a magician…
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Those are incredible photos!!!
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Thanks, Ann. I only cheated a little… 😉
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And hey Dave looks like I’m going to be in Portland this weekend. If you got time and interest join me for a pint at NW IPA in Woodstock Friday afternoon around 3 or 4? I’m at 425-241-1502. Bill
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Can I take a rain check? At this point I’m planning on brewing a batch of Scottish Ale on Friday afternoon. Brewing is fairly labor intensive (lots of cleaning) and I won’t free up until 7 or 8.
BTW, if you’re on Woodstock I’ve got two words for you: Otto’s Sausage.
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Ha! Of course! Thanks for the tip on Otto’s, too. I get down there a few times a year so hopefully next time!
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Didn’t realise the secret life of clematis was so, ahem, risqué. Lovely photos.
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I suppose it might take a somewhat twisted mind to go from lovely photos of flowers to “risque”. All in fun… 😉
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You always crack me up, Dave. Trippy photos indeed! Woohoo, I’m having a flashback. Hahaha. But, seriously, there’s something special about staring into the heart of a flower.
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🙂 I have to admit I had a little fun with this one. Entirely tongue in cheek, but hey, how else was I going to present these pictures when I went to the special effects?
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Talk about 50 shades of gray! I think I want to be reincarnated as a clematis now.
Amazing photos, btw.
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Gives a whole new meaning to “flower of your youth”, doesn’t it?
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Not counting the overall delightfully prurient innuendo my favorite here are those two b/w! Outstanding work, Dave.
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Into Goth, eh? 😉 Actually, considering your photo submissions are often in b/w I’m not surprised you like those.
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That does look a bit trippy! Love the flower pics!
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I had a little fun with an editing tool called Topaz…
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They are great photos again Dave. Art interests me in that people respond to different things. I particularly loved the last two.
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The last three were created with a tool called Topaz, which while it can be used for basic editing, I just go to for playing around with more extreme effects. More “fine” art than photography I suppose, with the caveat that, as you suggest, what one person calls fine might leave another cold.
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Fantastic detail in your images Dave. Well done.
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Thanks, Lane.
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Amazing photos, Dave! With all the drugs and sex, I am surprised that the Clematis doesn’t suffer from chlamydia.
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Perhaps they do. But considering the topic, they probably chlam up about it.
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You’ve enlightened me once again!
Great post and photos.
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Quite the “secret”, eh? 😉
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The clematis growing on my back fence will never seem the same again. Long ago, when I came to plant it in a shady corner of the garden, I relied on an old gardening tip: clematis likes cool feet and a hot head. I thought that meant it would shoot up to reach the sun. Well, it did, but now I know the gardening lore meant so much more…
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Kind of makes you wonder what those master gardeners feed their plants…
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Beautiful work, Dave, especially the last image. I love Clematis – it’s a great subject and you did it justice.
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Those last shots were done with Topaz Studio. I’ve been having fun with it lately, it kind of expands my boundaries.
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Those are nice effects. I’ve never used that one but I know how much fun a new program can be, or even a new insight into the normal programs. Enjoy!
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