I’m Going to Cut Your Eyes Out!

I was stunned.

In my shock, I couldn’t believe my ears. “I’m going to cut your eyes out,” she said, and she was dead serious.

Sea-ing Red

JJ stood on the ladder outside the boat, still dripping water from his scuba dive. His face took on a shade of green, and we were all startled when suddenly he hurled red over the side of the boat.

It’s unusual, but not unheard of for a diver to get sick, especially if the seas are rough. But they were calm this day, and seasick is no reason for red vomitus.  Repeated heaves gave the impression he was hacking up a lung, or trying to turn his guts inside out.  We were all, OMG, what the hell is going on, and what are we going to do about it?

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Acts of Deception

I wondered, for a few seconds, if I was dreaming.

Looking out at the wall, a sea of arms looked back at me, waving. Each arm showing shades of grey, corpse-like, yet animated. Was this for real, or a nightmare?

Diving the Grand Turk

I hang suspended, hovering, 30 feet high.  Although the temperature is warm, in the 80s, the ground looks as if it’s covered in snow.

Practices of Deception

The Pass was hidden, a treacherous rift of currents that didn’t want to shoot strait – at least from the perspective of Captain George Vancouver.  Back in 1792, while exploring the Pacific Northwest, he sent Joseph Whidbey sailing northward along the east coast of a strip of land that now bears Whidbey’s name.  Whidbey made it up the Saratoga Passage and explored eastward into Skagit Bay, but didn’t make it far enough west to find an outlet. It wasn’t until they changed their practice and explored up the west coast of Whidbey that they found the strait, making Whidbey an island rather than a peninsula.  Captain Vancouver was so annoyed being fooled by that hidden rift of roiling water he called it Deception Pass.

226 years later, another group of intrepid sailors headed up to that deceptive pass to pursue a different set of practices.  I was one of them.

Sucker!

The giant Pacific octopus lurked within easy reach in a shallow hole, its large suckers giving away its strange existence.  I reached in to shake hands; first it retreated, then it wrapped its suckers around my fingertips with a firm grasp and began to pull me in.

How Cold Is It?

* It was so cold, the politicians had their hands in their own pockets. 

It was so cold in Beverly Hills even folks without Botox couldn’t move their faces.  

Getting Down In Barkley Sound

The shark was laying on the white sandy sea bottom, and made no move to swim away as my dive buddy and I approached.

Warm or Cold: A Game

Basket Star

Ask any guy on the street, if you wanted to see a colorful reef, where would you go?  Chances are, he’d point you at a tropical island with nice warm water, because nothing interesting lives in cold water but a few boring fish.  Right?

Not so fast.

Have You Walked Your Fish Today?

Every day, millions of people go through a familiar ritual – they take their dog out for a walk. This is good for both person and dog: both get exercise, a chance to blow off steam, and for the dog a chance to “do his business”. The problem is those business cards.