(This Page Intentionally Left Blank)
I have, on occasion, encountered a facing page in a book with the infamous “This Page Intentionally Left Blank” statement, and wondered if the author appreciated the illogic of dropping that text onto what was once a truly open canvas. After all, once the text is in, the page isn’t blank anymore.
But then, it came time to write my weekly story.
What with various projects and goings on lately, I had little time to think about what to write, and have come up with nothing. So that’s what this post is about. Hey, it worked for Seinfeld. (So I hear. I only saw a couple episodes, and nothing stands out.)
There will be more nothing coming up; no post at all next week, and I’ll likely miss the occasional week as summer and fall wear on.
In the meantime, a nothing little story you can help write, ’cause I got nothing.
Hanging off of the [cliff | door knob | edge of the couch], I desperately called for help. But [no one | only Lassie | my wife] was in earshot, and what could they do?
[If there was “no one” to hear my plea, can it be said I even called for help? If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there, does it make a sound? Logic would suggest it does, but quantum physicists might disagree. Their idea of superposition (see Schrödinger’s cat) leaves things unresolved until they’re observed. Maybe they’re the same folks who came up with “This Page Intentionally Left Blank” even though it isn’t, and justify it with an arcane mathematical formula.]
[No one | Lassie | my wife] leapt into action. Spurning any fear of [the cliff edge | the door knob closing in on her noggin | the unsecured floor rug], she turned a tight, fast corner, and [joined me in hanging off the cliff | grabbed the door knob for traction | turned the floor rug into a skate board].
This was no impediment for my brave [no one | Lassie | wife]. Despite [hanging from a cliff | hanging from a doorknob | rug-boarding into the end table] she was still able to [do a Wonderwoman leap | disengage from the doorknob, leaving only a bit of slobber | grab the TV remote].
And so the day was saved.
Next week, should you find “nothing” to be too unsubstantial, please feel free to peruse the archives.
Plying Through Life 
I think all bloggers can relate to this, the day that we know we’re supposed to write a blog post, and yet….we find we don’t really have anything we want to say. I think a fill-in-the-blank story works quite nicely!
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I’ll usually have some notion a couple days before, but this time I had too much going on, and had to come up with something random I could knock out in an hour or two.
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And you did a good job of it, too!
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I could be pedantic and tell you *why* those “blank” pages aren’t, but I’ll be nice instead. Happy Independence Day!
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I wonder if they’d still be blank on ebooks, since left and right pages aren’t that important? Happy 4th to you too.
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I blame the publisher for that arcane message re blankness, not the author. Authors get enough blame as it is.
Glad you left us all with a cliff/doorknob/end-of-couch hanger!
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True, and I’ve mostly seen it on technical or formal documentation. Which is already a bundle of excitement, I’m sure I’ve put a few people to sleep with my work.
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Ah, yes. Takes me back to the days when I wrote Manuals and the like. In which case it meant, “We’ll stick a few more rules in here when we’ve managed to think them up.”
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This comment is left intentionally blank.
(PS, enjoyed your DIY story, but must confess I took the safe options throughout – can’t risk too much excitement at my age!)
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Yes, rug-boarding over the side of a cliff with only a soggy doorknob to hang onto is not for the faint of heart.
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I tried to actually leave a blank comment, but WordPress wasn’t having that. Bunch o’ funsuckers.
I loved Seinfeld and still miss it to this day!
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I was tempted to leave a blank page, with a little note at the bottom suggesting the reader had reached the end of the internet, there was nowhere left to go, and the internet would self-destruct in 5 seconds.
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I think you took the wisest course. If we have nothing to blog about, can can always blog about nothing. As your post shows, it can still be entertaining. I liked your mix and match story, by the way. In my version, your wife saved you from the cliff edge but turning your floor rug into a skateboard.
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Probably the best outcome. Lassie would have probably just slobbered on the rug and we’d all just skateboard down the cliff. (BTW, is Lassie too obscure a cultural reference? She was a heroic dog from a 50’s-60’s American TV show.)
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I prefer the vision of your wife doing the Wonderwoman leap, although a little bit of slobber was involved as well. It was probably yours. 😉
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I suspect my wife might look pretty good in an actual Wonderwoman costume, rather than virtual one she often wears.
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